How to Use Social Chemistry to Deepen Relationships, with Marissa King

By Mo Bunnell

Mo asks Marissa King: How can people use their networks to deepen relationships?

  • Networks are relationships and the quality of those relationships is determined in the moment. Two of the biggest obstacles to deep relationships are simple distractions and not being present in the moment.
  • If you’re in a meeting, turn your phone off and put it away. Simply having a phone on the table during a conversation makes it less pleasurable and it makes you look less empathetic.
  • Research showed that the truth of the parable of the Good Samaritan is that how much of a hurry someone is in determines whether they stop to help. The key for everyone is to slow down and be present. Being in a hurry is the biggest roadblock to real connection.
  • The most effective relationship-building super power you can have is the ability to listen. Most people believe they are great listeners but that’s not the case for the majority. Oftentimes people just need space to be seen and heard. Give them that full space and it’s amazing how quickly relationships can move forward.
  • Self-disclosure and allowing people to see more hidden aspects of yourself is how you connect on a human-to-human basis. Finding uncommon commonalities is the key. If you discover that you both love to unicycle, it will lead to a much deeper connection than more surface level stuff.
  • Give people more color and character. We all want to know each other as humans and that’s all part of your story.

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